By Dr. Froswa’ Booker-Drew
When I was a child, my mom would always warn me about blowing up bridges that I may need to cross later. I didn’t quite understand what she meant but as an adult, I get it. In a nutshell, these quotes were life lessons, they are nuggets of wisdom. I interpret this one to mean that if you treat relationships poorly, you may need them later and can’t go back.
Some bridges are not meant to be utilized. If you decide to take a route you were never supposed to take, it’s not fair to leave damage behind either. You made a decision that didn’t work for you but you’ve now made it difficult for the next person who may need that route to their destiny. The next person is suffering the consequences of a bad decision made by someone else.
Some bridges may not be a part of your journey now because you may believe they can not support you. You believe you deserve to take a much more established route. Yet, as that bridge is fortified, it be- comes stronger and sturdier. There will come a time when you may need that support and the bridge has become a thoroughfare for others but has no room for you.
Relationships are a form of currency. So many people are not mindful of how relationships are like a bank account. You must make deposits by the way you care for and grow relationships. It’s work. You can also deplete your account with others by making too many withdrawals. So many of us are dealing with collateral damage by others because of previous relationships that did not care for the person’s heart well.
You don’t have to like every- one but treat people the way you want to be treated. “Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God’s Law and Prophets and this is what you get.” (Matthew 7:12 MSG)
Bridges connect to expressways. You could be delaying your progress due to traveling life’s roads haphazardly. It’s important to make sure that you steward relationships well. You never know when you might need assistance. You could be missing your destiny helpers because you have dismissed or ignored them.
We spend so much time focusing on money but it does not exist in isolation.
Money and resources are connected to relationships. You don’t have a money problem—you have a relationship problem because you are not in a community with individuals who can give you information or connections to help you.
We often equate blessings with financial rewards but that’s a narrow perspective. People can be a blessing to our lives and we can miss so many opportunities to change our trajectory if we only treat people with kindness and respect. God doesn’t just expect us to steward money. God expects us to care for people well. We want the financial blessing but we don’t realize that if we are not faithful in our dealings with others, we limit our possibilities.
This scripture is often applied to money but I believe it is applicable in our relationships. Matthew 25:23 says, “His lord said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.” How can God bless us with more people to help us along the way to reach our des- tiny when we do not value the ones currently on our path? We are missing the joy of the Lord and the increase because we have not been faithful in what we’ve been given.
Remember, your destiny is connected to others. We need to treat people well if they are CEOs or custodians. The Bible is clear: “God plays no favorites! It makes no difference who you are or where you’re from.” (Acts 10:34-36 MSG) We need to adopt this mindset as well in our interactions.
This African proverb sums it up: If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.
People need People. Blowing up bridges can create a lot of damage.
Dr. Froswa’ Booker-Drew is the President of Soulstice Consultancy, LLC and the Founder of the Reconciliation and Restoration (r2fdn.org) Foundation. The author of 4 books including Empowering Charity: A New Narrative of Philanthropy, Dr. Booker-Drew is also the host of the Tapestry Podcast.
