By Zack Linly
Look, I don’t know if it’s politically correct to say this in 2024 or not, but I think it’s time we all acknowledge that Rep. Lauren Boebert and her family—are ghetto as hell.
They are certainly the most ratchet of the ratchets if we apply the same social standard to them that we apply to Black people across America. Just look at the way Boebert and her slum sister Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene behave in public—hootin’ and hollerin’ during presidential addresses and beefing with each other on the House floor like rival gang-bangers at one of those gangster parties Snoop Dogg and 2Pac used to rap about. Patrons can’t even enjoy a show at the theater without those people being loud and obnoxious with their vapes and their sexual promiscuity that has them fondling each other in family-friendly spaces like animals. They also can’t seem to go anywhere without their guns, not even to a restaurant. I mean, who lives the thug life so hard that they have to stay strapped even while taking their Christmas photo?
And y’all thought Sarah Palin‘s Jerry Springer-ass family was bad.
Perhaps if Boebert wasn’t raising her sons to carry guns like little hoodlums, her 18-year-old son, Tyler Boebert, wouldn’t have been arrested Tuesday in Colorado in connection with what police alleged was a string of alleged property thefts and vehicle trespassings.
From CBS News:
The police department in Rifle, Colorado, posted on Facebook that Tyler Boebert was arrested at approximately 2:30 p.m. on Tuesday and he faces five felony counts. The charges include four felony counts of criminal possession of identification documents and one felony count of conspiracy to commit a felony, according to police.
According to the Garfield County Jail, Boebert was being held on 22 possible charges, including misdemeanors.
Tyler Boebert was listed as an inmate at the jail as of Wednesday morning, but later in the evening, he had been released after posting a $1,250 bond, the Garfield County clerk and recorder confirmed. He is due back in court on April 11.
Lauren likely had to do a little code-switching when she addressed the public about her son—a teen parent who made her a grandmother at 36 (whew—the ghetto)—because you can take a Karen out the hood but you can’t…well, y’all know how it goes.
“I love my son Tyler, who has been through some very difficult, public challenges for a young man and the subject of attention that he didn’t ask for. It breaks my heart to see my child struggling and, in this situation, especially when he has been provided multiple opportunities to get his life on track,” Boebert said in a statement. “As an adult and father, Tyler will take responsibility for his actions and should be held accountable for poor decisions just like any other citizen.”
Now, before anyone tries to accuse me of being mean to Boebert during this difficult time, let me remind you that this is the same loud and proud bigot who repeatedly referred to Black and brown congresswomen as the “Jihad squad,” and fabricated a story about Rep. Ilhan Omar getting into an elevator with her prompting concerns from a security guard who Boebert claimed she calmed down by saying, “She (Omar) doesn’t have a backpack, she wasn’t dropping it and running so we’re good.” (So, even in Boebert’s fake story, she and a security guard were racially profiling Omar as a Muslim terrorist.)
Boebert also opposed a House bill meant to protect Black people from hair discrimination by referring to it as a “bad hair bill.” Hers was also one of the loudest voices among white and fragile conservatives shedding Caucasian tears over the Black National Anthem being sung at the Super Bowl, because, apparently, sporting events should stay song-segregated so their precious “Star-Spangled Banner” doesn’t have to share space with that uppity negro song.
I’m not saying it’s karma that is responsible for all the problems in the Boebert family—because when it comes to thugs like these, it’s probably more like cause and effect—but, because of the Congresswoman and her mean girl ways, they certainly shouldn’t expect much sympathy. Let them receive the same grace reserved for those whom America would label “ghetto” without a second thought.
That’s equality, ain’t it?
