Dear Alma,
I know this may sound mean, but I can’t stand my sister’s son. He’s three years old and he talks back and never listens to what I tell him to do. He comes to my house and breaks up my stuff, and she just sits there like nothing is happening. She doesn’t even say stop. When I try to correct him, she says, “Don’t talk to my son like that.” No, I don’t have any kids, but I have friends who have kids, and they are not as bad as he is. I don’t want her to bring him to my house anymore. What do you think?
Angie, Baltimore
Omgoodness Angie
You’ve got me scrolaurin! (Screaming, laughing and hollering all at the same time) Come on, Auntie; he’s only three. You can’t be hatin on him like that. I’m ready to revoke your “Auntie” card.
Don’t you know we aunties are the best thing next to moms. My nephew Corey and I have such a special relationship. I can’t wait for you to have this experience.
Honestly, I think you are barking up the wrong tree. What’s up with your sister? You should be putting her on blast. Why isn’t she correcting and teaching her son? That’s her responsibility. Somewhere along the way we evolved into this “mama-is-your-friend” revolution.
I can remember, back in the day, my mama didn’t want to be my friend. How do I know? She told me so, LOL. If I showed out, she would discipline me and not have a second thought about it.
Let me clarify: I didn’t get whoopins, but I was aware of them. I had a clear understanding that she was in charge. Her look, voice and firm tone let me know she was not to be challenged.
Carol, my mother, (God rest her soul) could talk, teeth clenched tight, only her lips moving, and you understood every word she said. LOL. Old skool Mamas are the best!
Look, future favorite Auntie of his: Instead of cutting him off, try a new approach—help him. Give your sister a copy of Ain’t Misbehavin: Tactics for Tantrums, Meltdown, Bedtime Blues and Other Perfectly Normal Kid Behaviors by Alyson Schafer. She’s authored a few great books on motherhood.
Also suggest that she goes online and check out some new mom blogs. Maybe she’s overwhelmed and unsure where to start.
Don’t give up on him from the start. Give him a road-map to becoming the best that he can be. He’ll strive to make you proud.
