MY TRUTH: Dear…

By Cheryl Smith

College Freshman (part 2)

Last week I began my letter to you in hopes that I could help you navigate through your college years without some of the trials and obstacles that could sidetrack you and keep you from graduating.

Just remember, when all else fails, go to the library. Some of the best friends I have were found in the library, like Nikki Giovanni, Maya Angelou, Toni Cade Bambara, writers in the Black Press and Iceberg Slim! When you arrive on campus, you will experience things you never experienced before. You must understand that, while you think you are “grown” what you know as “grown” is not the entire story.

Sure you can drink if you are 21, or you get around folks and perpetrate. But there’s more to being “grown” than drinking, staying out, coming and going when you choose, smoking and not having to answer to anyone.

I remember when a family member felt they didn’t have to tell when they were coming and going because they were “grown.”

Well, guess what? Being grown means you don’t have a problem telling your comings and goings. And you might want to tell someone because one day you may need an alibi, or worse, you may need someone to come and rescue you!

There’s so much for you to learn.

Which brings me to my truth.

I will be writing more to you about topics that either I deemed worthy or you reached out and asked me about. In the meantime, here are a few tips that I know will serve you well.

1. Listen more than you talk. (Especially when it comes to sharing personal business). You are just meeting and you want to be careful about sharing information that may be used against you by the street team. In a nutshell, just like friends from high school will disappear, you can bet folks you meet, especially early on, will not be with you til the end.
2. Meet your professors. Schedule a meeting with your advisor. Establish a rapport with these people who you may need for a recommendation letter one day!
3. Do not go to parties alone and make sure you leave with who you came with. While at the parties or other gatherings, never take drinks from people you don’t know and really from those you think you know – it’s too soon to trust, in many cases.
4. Do not spend the night, lay in the bed, or have sex in fraternity or sorority houses or a potential partner’s dormitory room. You’re exposing yourself to some situations that have proven deadly, unfortunately.
5. Try not to date multiple fraternity brothers or sorority sisters, athletes, students. Heck date your books.
6. Join organizations that are geared toward your major course of studies, what you’d like to have as a profession.
7. Inquire about and apply for scholarships, internships and fellowships. This is important. Even if you have your tuition paid for, applying for scholarships puts you and your work in front of people you need to meet. Securing internships and fellowships will prepare you for future employment and entrepreneurial opportunities; while also helping you to develop your work ethic and make those mistakes early before you are ON THE JOB for real. And don’t count on college work study programs to give you all you need.
8. If you have an issue with your professors, contact them outside of class. Most public confrontations don’t end well. And on this same note. Don’t become overly friendly
9. with your professors. If they attempt to take the relationship to another level, don’t flatter yourself. You aren’t the first!
10. Don’t wait until the end of the semester to reach out to your professors. And when you realize you don’t understand the assignment, immediately share this information. Professors know some students are going to come late with their excuses. In this new day, many are making concessions, but why try them? Do your darned work and keep up with everything!
11. Just because you miss class does not mean the assignment is not due. I often tell my students that their asses or their assignment better be before me. My class is not for play play!

Now it is amazing how many “grown” folks resort to tears when they get called out. Yes, today especially we are dealing with “feelings.”

All I can do is shake my head and make sure I have my paper trail. And you should understand just like your supervisor or employer will have apaper trail that shows up a performance review, professors will also prepare for your nonsense.

Finally ladies, when the young men or women (I don’t judge) come after you. Firmly say to them: “I am here for two things: to get a degree and to get married! Believe me, you just held up garlic, a stake, or something similar because usually they run because they don’t have the same vision as you. They want a degree, yes, but at the top of their agenda is to have fun. Most aren’t looking for a committed relationship.

Now, keep in mind, you have to let your actions mirror your declarations.

You can’t be out there dropping it like it’s hot all over everyone and spreading your “love,” because they won’t respect you in the morning!

Now I will end here.

Questions, give me a call at 214-941-0110 or email me at editor@texasmetronews.com

Just know I will NOT agree to disagree. However, I will listen and also provide the space for your rebuttal!